seasons may change

Someone once said to me, "Life comes in seasons. If the leaves are falling, you know your season is to come."

At any given time we are surrounded by seasons. Things are created and broken and fixed. Seeds are planted, they grow and wither and die. The motion of life from one season to the next cannot be avoided, run from, or ignored. Yet, in this past season of my life I decided that I wasnt going to have it anymore. The thought of another dark and cold season paralyzed me. So, I created a scheme to stop time in its tracks... to freeze my life in a perpetual season of warmth. I made lists and plans and shut out anything that threatened heartache. And still, I find myself in a place where the leaves are falling again and there is NOTHING I can do about it. So I am reminded of a quote from my favorite movie...

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you're terrified somebody's going to stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somaliland. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. ~ Breakfast at Tiffany's, spoken by Paul Varjak

I ran into myself again... into life again. Its messy and it hurts. And the more you embrace life, the more deeply intertwined you become with its seasons. So the question becomes, how do I face this coming season however dark and cold it may be and be ok with it? I dont know the answer yet.